Hot Sebastian and his OnlyFans;
Portland Sauna, Episode 1
I was sitting in a steamy hot sauna at my local gym, chatting with a guy I have met many times before. We have previously exchanged names, but nothing further. I am wearing the smallest pair of running shorts made for mankind, despite having legs 10ft long. And a neon sports bra.. Ok- I am exaggerating about the legs… . But I do have really long legs. Currently they are what I call ‘Oregon White’– (I'm convinced no one from here gets any sun). I look just like the locals at this point.
There I am, me and my white long legs, tall thin frame- average build for a 5’ 11” female in her early 40’s. I wear this ridiculous “sauna hat” that my friend bought for me. It's shaped like a small KKK hat- but made out of wool, and doesn’t cover the face. Ok- more like a ‘dunce cap’...
I wear it as a joke, I wear it- Mostly because I don’t care what people think- and I heard that it keeps my hair from falling out. I mean, who wants that right??
Anyway..
This man I am chatting with kindly told me that he thought I was in my 20’s.. Which means he really thought early 30’s, and was trying to be flattering. I get it. I am charming too. I know the rules.
So my favorite curly haired gentleman with his stripped flippy floppy shoes, his 6 pack, fairly good looking man with an Australian/ New Zealand accent are sweating it out in a dimly lit sauna in Portland Oregon. This is now maybe our 3rd conversation?-- but I already know his sun sign, I know he has a young girlfriend, and I know that he has told me he is a “movie director”.... I of course think that he is mildly interesting enough to engage my attention- and as we chat for the 3rd time, he proceeds to tell me that he has an ONLY FANS account.
I know what these are- but have not ventured onto the platform yet. I have heard plenty of podcasts about this ‘side hustle’ anyone can start. But for men, I am more intrigued. This guy, –Let's call him Sebastian, obviously not his real name, but his is similar to this vibe.
He seems to be trying to impress me, even flirt with me- so of course I confidently flirt back, shoulders back, open body language, knee hugged to my body sweat dripping- I chat with him about his only fans page. I know he is not single- but also not married, he is in the ‘film industry” and he has good social skills. Check check.
We casually discuss the topic of his last “movie” which was a documentary about a dominatrix worker. I haven’t looked it up yet- but I plan too. I love documentaries. I tell him that I have a bunch of good friends from my 20’s when I lived in Austin who were in the “sex-workers industry” displaying my lack of judgment and my cultured attitude towards these kinds of things. I am in Portland afterall.
We are not alone in the sauna- there are at least 3 other people, including a good friend of mine who loves to interrupt- but I am doing my best to ignore him and chat solely with my favorite curly haired man. Our conversation goes from surface-y to obscure in about 20 seconds flat as we discuss how many people have a foot fetish.. I completely disregard any other people in the room, and carry on with Sebastian as if we are alone in a coffee shop. I tell him of my own adventures when I was younger with the “industry–”
Nothing serious, but also not exactly vanilla either- My good friend Miss Marla- 6ft something woman, black hair, with a blunt cut bangs, -she always wore red lipstick– which i hate by the way. I would never wear it…
Anyway Marla–and how she used to get paid to “walk on” men with her giant woman feet... These men– who, I guess -find this arousing? I tell Sebastian that she used to have several clients who she did foot fetish stuff with and made a good bit of money on the side.
The conversation goes spiraling into other fetishes, and my own personal experience with a photo shoot from a million years ago. He and I discussed the sex industry and side hustles.
He says that he has quite the following on his onlyfans account- which of course causes me to ask, “mostly gay guys I presume”... He nods.
I pondered for a minute.. Could I do only fans? I immediately laughed to myself and said NO FREAKING way. Still marveling at his ability to do it himself. I asked about how his girlfriend felt about this, and she apparently doesn’t mind one bit, and he says he enjoys it. Shrug.
We exchange numbers as I brought up a podcast I heard about a very highly paid sex worker from singapore- and how she made something crazy like 64k per session… ( he was incredulous I am sure with this arbitrary number I threw out) but said– send me the podcast.
So now- Sebastian and I are connected and I am able to find the podcast- it turns out its only 10,000 per session.. I was off a bit on the amount!! Who cares– the point is– side gigs can become real gigs.
Later on- I realized, I have to have an outlet. My own side gig! I can’t drive UBER- because I don’t have a car here, and I would never do onlyfans– I had been thinking about this platform for at least the last month, as everyone in the podcast sphere seems to be posting here, so I have decided to write.
I need to write for several reasons. One is– my dreams. I have multiple dreams where I can’t get what’s in my mouth out. I have to spit rocks, or this morning it was worm like things out of my mouth… I just have a lot of dreams where I have a mouthful of something, and no where to put it.
I of course know what this means, and why. I have known that I like to write for at least the last 20 years. I always assumed I would write books, and that this was going to be a part of my life. I haven’t up until this point because I feel the whole thing has become cliche and it seems everyone is writing a book these days. ..
Self doubt, what do I have to offer the world? What could I even write about? Blah blah blah– enter self limiting beliefs here…
I have a million ideas about my books. Then recently it occurred to me that it's actually blogs that I have, not books. So here I am . I am starting something.
I will write to write. Being a social gemini- with a genuine curiosity about other people, relationships, obscure stories, random ideas- and some of them are huge ideas, I need to start to compile them. I thought what better place to start to write, than here in a social media world designed for writers!! Substack it is.
So if you are reading this, YOU and maybe only you, I write for me. I write to get all these words out of my throat and onto the page. I have more ideas than I can count- and if no one reads what I have to say, I will still heal my throat chakra, and make myself happy. The only person we have to please is ourselves. I am in love with myself- and the more I figure that part out, the less I will be prone to people-pleasing. What does Marita want and need? I am on a journey to find that out. Come along. OR don’t come along. I don’t care. I have always worn my life, my heart and my feelings on my sleeve- never met a stranger so they say and I have nothing to hide. Let’s do this thing!