Screen Addiction
~~YOU KNOW THIS IS YOU!!~~ A blog for everyone.
My last post was a few weeks ago. I excitedly wrote about my goals for the new year. Some of them I have successfully executed. Others not so much.
I have not had a sip of alcohol.. easy peasy breezy beautiful cover girl…
I am lucky this is easy for me… I just stop thinking about a glass of wine as an option, and boom— No alcohol— Many people really struggle with alcohol… and my heart goes out to you.
The other one is sugar. A life long battle with our entire culture of food in the west. I think the day after I posted that blog, I walked into work- and there was 3 dozen donuts sitting on the table screaming… eat me.. At least eat half of me. Or eat half of 3 of me. Its so tempting. I opened the box at least 4 times to check to see what was left. Its hard, and the struggle is real. I managed to not eat the donuts. I told myself.. Marita. Every time you carb load, and eat processed sugar— It puts you in a bad mood. Its like sprinkling bad mood fairy dust all over your head… then trying to get through a 12 hour shift with no phones, and only work in front of you being in a BAD mood. NO thanks.
So I didn’t.
The very very next day— Management had a meeting and thought it would be fun to cater Einstein Bagels.. with all the cream cheese and variety. This time.. I snagged a bagel. I put it away for later— and I DID toast it and eat it at the very very end of my shift before going home. Like for breakfast. (I work nights)… So really it was dinner. It was as delish as I remember them to be. Hot toasted bagel and soft cream cheese… yes please. Its always been a tough temptation for me. I don’t buy them— but for some reason, when they are free and being shoved in your face- and there’s plenty for everyone, and no one is watching… (Yes— we are all the same— you know you do it!). I gave in to this bagel situation.
The sugar goal I am doing ok. The carbs, white flour and other bready things, these foods are not good for me. However after 12 hours of the kind of work that I do- I feel weak, tired…just want to get home, get to bed- and just about anything will get shoved in my mouth.
In recovery there is a saying that goes. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired… the acronym is HALT. These 4 things will trigger addictions. Including food addiction, sugar, carbs, alcohol… and yes.. Dun dun dun… doom scrolling on the internet..
To deal with addiction- you must plan ahead with these things. Pack a lunch. Bring a piece of fruit. Bring the foods you like- so that you are not tempted to eat crap- even if it is for FREE!
Over all I am doing pretty good at my new years goals. At least two of them.
The 3rd one? Not so much.
Its funny to think that 10 to 15 years of screen addiction is going to just disappear in one blog sitting, is probably ridiculous. I have been online at least since 2014- when facebook was the first temptation at work. I had my own office- doing real estate in Austin Texas- and it's not like my broker was going to manage me. He was drunk down the street at the bar… the other agents in the office had their own facebook and soda and other things they were addicted to… so of course the first 20 minutes of the work day was spent on facebook.
Fast forward 10 years later— We all have this screen in our pocket. It goes to the bathroom with us. It goes in our purse. It goes in the bed with us— ( I mean.. who has an alarm these days. My phone is my clock. My watch. My alarm… my bedtime stories, my books. Its also my telephone.. (remember those?). And so yeah.. I am like everyone else. It goes to the gym with me. It goes to the sauna with me. Even to the steam room with me.. you just have to wrap it up in a damp cold towel and everything is just fine.
This screen addiction is the biggest psyop ever played on the world stage.
I remember back when I was 19, I was a missionary. It was 1999. It was the time when surely the apocalypse was here. I mean. Y2K… Everyone remembers that?!?! We really did think that the computers that ran the government might shut the world down and send us into some kind of medieval nightmare.
But guess what. NOTHING happened.
Sheepishly we all moved on.. and decided that it was the year 2000 and nothing happened. We just keep rolling.
At that age- I was still very much involved in my church, my religion, and my faith. I read books about why the year 2000 would be the “End Times”. I hoped that wasn’t going to be the case, but I still considered it. I mean- I was only 19- so give me a break. Kids are naive.
I drank a screwdriver that night. I normally didn’t drink alcohol- and I was house sitting for a coworker.. she had vodka in her freezer.. I thought— well if we are all going to die— I might as well have a little buzz at least. HA!
One of the things I was studying back then was this subject of Jesus coming back. If Jesus came back— the prophecy was, that we would all know at the same time!! It was hard to imagine this because how could everyone know all at the same time all across the world? Fast forward 25 years later… Of course we would know if “Jesus came back”… we all have phones in our pockets! It would be all over socials.. and just like covid, or the trump inauguration, we all know what is happening on the ‘world stage’ all the time. Things I thought would have to be magic, supernatural.. or a religious miracle— all those things can be accomplished by our new technology.
If something huge happens, it takes about an hour for everyone to know about it.
Lets just pause here for a minute to think about how amazing that is. That we are all globally connected. I can have a conversation with someone online from Venezuela and a person from India simultaneously. Holy Crap. That is AMAZING!!
If Jesus came back… We would all surely know. If the anti-christ was here— It could be Elon, it could be Pierre, it could be Trump, it could be Hillary… who knows who this person could be— but I think we are all going to know about it.
I am mostly joking about the Antichrist, but back in my religious days this subject was a very big deal.
Today though- I am 44 and I have a feeling the sun will just keep coming up in the morning. And tomorrow the same thing will happen.. Then the day after that– the sun will come up in the morning. We got through another election cycle- every 4 years it feels like we won’t make it. Like this is the worst its ever been… then here we are. The sun came up. We go to work. We pay the light bill. We drop our kids off at school. Nothing changes. Humanity just keeps on keeping on.
On the other hand– think about how much has changed. Some of these things have come true. Like digital currency for example. Bitcoin, Etherium, and XRP are now widely accepted and we have entire governments now using these platforms. Blockchain technology has changed the world and will continue to change the world. When it first was being talked about. For me I heard of it around 2007 maybe? When Bitcoin was something gamers used. Or criminals used it to surf the “silk road”. I remember my real estate clients telling me how it worked, and how we could get anything off the internet. Using this untraceable decentralized digital currency called Bitcoin. I didn’t understand how it worked. I didn’t know how it could be used as a currency in our everyday lives. But here we are. Bitcoin is now over 100k per coin. Think about that.
Imagine the people that had the foresight to buy bitcoin back in 2009? They are millionaires many times over, if they were smart enough to not sell it. Bitcoin has made regular people rich beyond their wildest dreams.
Chat GPT is also here. Our minds can’t conceive of a day when AI is doing everything for us- but its right around the corner. We can’t just bury our heads in the sand and hope that it doesn’t happen. Check out Mikhala Peterson interviewing tech billionaire and entrepreneur Tom Bilyeu. He speaks about AI and where we will be in the next 5 years. It sounds outrageous… but pay attention. He is probably right. AI is going to be everywhere.
We do have new changes coming- but I think we as humans are going to adapt to this new technology. We will most likely have a split between the people who embrace it first- “transhumans” and the “organics” which will be people who reject it and go the other way. Which side will you be on? I am not sure myself. I feel like we need our feet firmly planted on the earth. Touch grass as the kids say.
Back to where I was going with this.
Screen addiction is something every single one of us are struggling with. If you are reading this right now, you are doing so on a screen. You got on Substack, or your email to read this… via your phone.. the one that is attached to your hip. In your pocket, your purse, your desk.. Or maybe you are on the pot- and you read Substack while you poop. I think we all do it. Nothing to hide, nor be ashamed of.
However- is it a problem? Is it a problem when you can’t find your phone? Do you panic?
Yesterday I was talking to a friend in the locker room. I was about to reach for my purse, where my phone lives— and it wasn’t around my body like normal. I looked behind me to see if I left it in my locker.. NOPE. the locker was empty!!
Suddenly panic set in. What if someone stole it while I was changing or something! This was my first thought. I quickly reached down and zipped open my gym bag. I had wrapped it up, and put in INSIDE my bag while I was talking to my friend.. but didn’t realize I had done it. This is a perfect example of how attached we are. The thought that I lost my phone (and my wallet) was fear inducing.
I think since the new year started I have actually succeeded at reducing my screen and listen time by maybe 5 to 7%. I would say that is an epic failure at hitting my 3rd goal this year.
Which means its time for a new year again.
This new year starts now. Or Feb 1st.. or after I finish this post. I need to reset.
Try harder.
Set limits.
Smaller Goals.
Lets focus on the solution. (You can read along and set your own parameters if you are in the same boat as me.)
One for example.. When I meet my trainer at the gym. I don’t need the phone for any reason at all because she is making me do things, and we are talking.. so I don’t need it for anything, which means it could be left in my locker.
Step one. ~~Leave phone in locker when with trainer.
Step two. ~~ Leave my phone outside of the room when I do yoga.
So far, thats 2 hours of my day (even if its only once a week) that I don’t have my phone near me. In this way, I can celebrate the small wins.
The small wins… are like the 10 minute ride from one place to another, where I do NOT listen to something on the way. Just silence. It turns out that I have a lot of things going on inside my brain if I just give it its own time. Like right now.
My quiet time has to become important, and a priority. If I want to heal from this phone addiction, I need to be strategic.
At work- we can’t have our phone on the floor. Not in our warehouse, and not at Intel. They have cameras on us at all times on the dock- in the main area where I work, and there is no need for my phone there. I have a company phone if I need to know what time it is. Or my coworkers have their company phone to get the time. So I can leave my phone in my locker.
Ask yourself, when was the last time you went to the grocery store, or ran an errand without your phone? What would happen if you got bored while standing in line for the checkout lane? How would it feel? If you can’t reach into your pocket and feel that square thing in there.. our safety blanket. Our devices.
Its bad folks. Its really bad.
Another place I can reduce my phone use is while I am welding. It's in the way. I need to keep it away from the sparks and my headphones get tangled in my gear anyway.
Me writing this all down is going to hold me accountable. I don’t need my phone on the work floor, nor in my booth while I am welding.
If my commute is longer than 15 minutes, I don’t think I am ready to let that go yet. Honestly I love my motorcycle ride … from the house to work. A good podcast to listen to is one of my loves. I love sinking into some other space in my mind.. It makes the ride to work fun. Interesting. I learn something. I am very much addicted to learning new things. Partly I know this is a gemini thing. We Gems really like information.
With this particular addiction, I have to learn to moderate, because its not realistic to just scrap the phone all together. We know this.
Instead of thinking this 3rd goal was a failure, I have to just get more serious about it. I have to find my ‘why’ as Simon Sinek says. You have to have a strong WHY if you want real change.
Why do you want the goal you have set out for yourself?
What is it that you are not doing, that you know you should do. That you want to do. you need to do. You may even have to do it.
Is it your taxes? Is it cleaning out that box, or that one drawer, or closet space.. the one you have been putting off for 2 years?- that thing you told yourself you would do last year… and its already 2025 and you still have not done it?
I've come to believe that we all have a list in our minds of things we need to be doing. I think we are all struggling to not give all our precious attention away to instagram, or facebook, or tiktok. It's no longer just a few people that can’t seem to tear themselves away from the screen. It's all of us.
My welding class. Every night at 7pm we get kicked off the shop floor, to have a forced break. We all file into the classroom attached to the shop, and one by one.. the room goes dead silent. No one talks to another person. We all sit silently on our phones. in our own worlds. This also happens in the breakroom at work.
A part of my heart dies every time I see this. ~~But I am doing it too!!
WHHHYYYYYY.
We don’t have eye contact anymore. We don’t talk to each other.
I know for me- I feel bored. I feel like ~what am I going to talk to the guy from the cleanroom about?. He wants to watch his cartoons, and I want to listen to Jordan Peterson. We both have found our interests— and we just worked for 2.5 hours and we deserve our 15 minute break .. right? I wouldn’t want to talk to my work people when I am not on the floor.. I would much rather talk to my partner… on my phone. This is what I tell myself.
What story are you telling yourself? Is your story the same as mine?
Should we start a self help group? A 12 step screentime anonymous group for this problem?
Maybe it can be called. ‘BRING RELATIONSHIPS BACK’ like the Acronym. BRB.. be right back. (which says.. hey.. I know we are texting right now, but I have to go put my shirt on… BRB. That way your friend doesn’t walk away from their phone in the two second pause you need to get dressed…
BRB.
Instead of Be Right Back… it will be BBR–Bring Back Relationships. Bring back eye contact. Bring back heart connection. Bring back laughter. High fives… and more.
Needless to say….
I am going to have to start over with goal number 3. Maybe I can set parameters for myself, in small ways that I know I can hit. Instead of saying I’m just going to miraculously break a 15 year screen addiction in one night. This is not realistic.
I can tell myself- No screens in the sauna. No screens on the work floor. No screens when I am physically with another person talking… (obviously.. How rude)
This would be a step in the right direction. When I get done with this blog, I am going to buy an alarm clock. And a watch. (I've been telling myself this for 2 years… ) those were my excuses to keep my phone glued to my bed, my pockets… such a simple solution. A watch, and an alarm.
Maybe there is a watch that is not online? That also has an alarm- and maybe a calculator. Oh and a calendar… (I can feel me inching back to the phone… the brick in my pocket that combines all these things. )
Another thing we could do, is to take off notifications for extremely distracting apps. I don’t have instagram notifications, and so now I never get on Insta. I don’t have them turned on for Youtube either. I do for Substack- So that will need to go soon. And my emails– My emails are constantly chirping at me, and I don’t need that. I am going to check emails at least once a day anyway– so there is no reason for them to be going off every hour, or 20 minutes for that matter.
Writing all of this down has been super helpful. If I publish this blog- it will be that much more accountability towards change.
One final thing.
My why.
Why do I want to NOT be on my screens as much?
I want to be a creator, not a consumer. Simple.
Creation feels much better than consumption. When we write, or create, or publish- it feels like we are living in our God Self. When we dive down an attention stealing scroll hole of nonsense… it sends us into a hell of confusion. Everything is too overwhelming. From dancing babies, to people just wanting some tiny amount of our “likes” and attention. Most of the “content creators” out there, are just sad people dying for attention. (However, there are amazing people full of wisdom and talent who actually have something wonderful to offer the world… so it has to be a balance.)
When does the phone stop being an inspiration, and start being a nightmare? I know every single one of you reading this has felt what I am talking about. This wide spread screen addiction is prevalent. Everyone is starting to talk about this now.
I heard a podcast once, where the lady doctor said that we open our phones an average of 272 times a day or something to that effect. For some it is more. For some it may be less… but this number is still outrageous. Could you imagine if we did the dishes with this kind of commitment? Or worked on our school work. Or our hobbies outside? We would build a city in one week.
I think we can all agree that something needs to be done about the phone addictions. I know I am not the only one.
I am getting off of this screen now… Back to my phone…
Haha. Just kidding. I have to go to work.
Let's do it together guys. Let's all work on this. Find a way to get away from your phone for 3 hours at a time. See how it feels. Maybe you will write a list. Maybe you will come up with a new business idea. Maybe you will talk to someone in the grocery store line, and this person might actually be your soul mate??— You could have missed them if you were scrolling Instagram while in line…
Think about it. I need your help. I need to publish this blog so I can be held accountable.
This is not the end of this subject for me. I have a long way to go. When was the last Alcoholic to walk into an AA room and be completely healed after one day of not drinking. They aren’t. They have to plod away at it for years. Everyday they have to make a decision to not take a drink. I will have to commit to this each day- and if I fuck up… I have to start over.
It's 28 days in, and I am starting over. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. Put the phone away and do something productive.
I love you all. We can do this!!